Food And Me.....Or Me And Food.
So, lets start with the nitty gritty shall we? My name is Ash. I am 33 years old and I am a type 2 diabetic that has a triglyceride disorder. Oh, did I also mention that I am addicted to food?
I have been struggling with my weight ever since I can remember. And in the past few years I have put in more effort to try and lose it then I ever have before. I've been somewhat successful. I always knew the causes of weight gain, too much food and not enough of the right types of foods. But mentally I have always failed. And it usually started with a day of laziness or frustration because others in my household are picky eaters and are able to eat the crap food without any real effects. And I would get tired of trying to shop and cooking things that everyone could eat. Those two reasons were the first doors to every excuse I had for myself.
But what I didn't really realize was how unhappy I was. Not just with my weight; but with my life overall. I had been in a work environment that was toxic and negative, I wasn't putting my foot down on some things at home and always putting other peoples needs before my own. And honestly these habits starting long ago when I was a child due to my parents addictions to drugs and dealing them, I had to step up being the oldest to take care of my brother and blindly obeying my parents in this area. My food addiction also started with them because they would get me goodies and use food to pacify me, instead of limiting me and teaching me self control. A lot of things stem from my childhood that have formed habits that are like double edged swords.
Over the years though food became a comfort. It never lied to me. It made me happy for a brief time just so I could forget about the mental anguish I was going through for just 15 to 20 minutes. But as I got older and started to learn how to get happier...the excess eating became a habit, something to do when I was bored and not being able to really tell if I was full unless I totally gorged myself to the point of where I was completely uncomfortable.
But I am tired of allowing something like this to have control over me. I was able to beat smoking. I can beat this. I have to beat this. My life is on the line. And it's very possible that whoever is reading this could be in the very same boat as I am. So, let's step away from the past and walk into the present. This is what I have been up to so far. I am on the meds that I need to be on. I am tracking my food and trying to live a lower carb lifestyle. I have figured out that I really don't like Keto avocado brownies or cloud bread for that matter. I am trying to exercise more. Honestly that is still a work in progress....lol. I've also joined a weight loss support group and so far everyone has been absolutely amazing.
Joining that group was probably one of the toughest things that I have done on this journey. And it's not because I was in denial or ashamed. It's just that I am a very private person about stuff like this and I have really bad social anxiety, even in online situations. And I am pretty proud of the fact that I did it.
And lastly I have been trying intermediate fasting. I am only on day 2 of it where I don't eat till noon (Only exception is coffee with heavy whipping cream and mct oil because i need something in my stomach for meds) And I stop eating between 8 and 9. I am going to keep this up for a little while and see how my results go.
I am taking steps mentally and physically. Is writing this blog one of them? Yes. I have always felt better and have had a better perspective after I have wrote things down. But I am also hoping that my readers can get something from this. Or at least to know that they are not alone in this.
Thank you for taking some of your time out of your day to read this. And I hope the rest of your day is a great one.
-Ash
Over the years though food became a comfort. It never lied to me. It made me happy for a brief time just so I could forget about the mental anguish I was going through for just 15 to 20 minutes. But as I got older and started to learn how to get happier...the excess eating became a habit, something to do when I was bored and not being able to really tell if I was full unless I totally gorged myself to the point of where I was completely uncomfortable.
But I am tired of allowing something like this to have control over me. I was able to beat smoking. I can beat this. I have to beat this. My life is on the line. And it's very possible that whoever is reading this could be in the very same boat as I am. So, let's step away from the past and walk into the present. This is what I have been up to so far. I am on the meds that I need to be on. I am tracking my food and trying to live a lower carb lifestyle. I have figured out that I really don't like Keto avocado brownies or cloud bread for that matter. I am trying to exercise more. Honestly that is still a work in progress....lol. I've also joined a weight loss support group and so far everyone has been absolutely amazing.
Joining that group was probably one of the toughest things that I have done on this journey. And it's not because I was in denial or ashamed. It's just that I am a very private person about stuff like this and I have really bad social anxiety, even in online situations. And I am pretty proud of the fact that I did it.
And lastly I have been trying intermediate fasting. I am only on day 2 of it where I don't eat till noon (Only exception is coffee with heavy whipping cream and mct oil because i need something in my stomach for meds) And I stop eating between 8 and 9. I am going to keep this up for a little while and see how my results go.
I am taking steps mentally and physically. Is writing this blog one of them? Yes. I have always felt better and have had a better perspective after I have wrote things down. But I am also hoping that my readers can get something from this. Or at least to know that they are not alone in this.
Thank you for taking some of your time out of your day to read this. And I hope the rest of your day is a great one.
-Ash
2018 Tugman park Coos county, Oregon.
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